At my husband. In my defense, he was talking to me like I was stupid, but I should have let it go. *sigh* He wasn’t listening and I kept having to repeat myself. Sooooo irritating. He also kept interrupting me when I was trying to explain what I’d done. I just said ‘It’s ok, honey, I didn’t need to finish that sentence. Go ahead.’ whilst gritting my teeth and flaring my nose. (Just so you know, that wasn’t the part where I snapped at him. It was loud and un-repeatable.) Yeah, imagine a big, pissed off bull. That was me. He tried to antagonize me, and I wasn’t in the mood. I’d been baby-wrestling all day, to his (the baby’s) general mal-content, and just didn’t need that. I needed a break. I did apologize.

No, I mean it! It really was! I thought I would have to continually recite my mantra in my head: I must not kill, I must not kill, I must not kill….but my MIL completely behaved herself, and even asked what we needed for the baby and plans to buy us diapers. I know. I’m just as shocked as you are. I swear, it’s true, though. Jumping Bean’s currently sleeping in his swing, the dishwasher’s running, the laundry’s half done, and I’m feeling good. Went to my grandparents’ house yesterday, and he got passed around and loved on, my cousins and aunts held him while I got to eat, and everyone said he looked like me. Which, of course, he does. How else could he be so good lookin’? I actually enjoyed myself! I hope everyone had a good Christmas!

“Where the Heart Is” with Natalie Portman? Well, I’ve seen the movie and read the book (of course) and although the book and movie differed in details, it was pretty close in essentials. In the movie, this girl has bad luck with 5’s. She gives examples of why and I’m not gonna go into that here, but yesterday, we were given change at Wal-Mart for $5.55. Just like the movie. WoooooOooooOOOo, scary! Not! But I found myself thinking about it, and how I’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop for so long. Well, I’ve got my little miracle now, so maybe that’s over with. Yes, we’re still poor, yes, we’ve got problems like everyone else, but now I have what I wanted. I hope everyone else gets what they want this year as well. Merry Christmas!

P.S. The MIL is coming here with the stepson. We’ve decided to take it one day at a time and heavily supervise visitation and see where that gets us. Safety is still my numero uno concern, but I figure barring clubbing both of us with a baseball bat, the safety issue isn’t gonna get past us. I’ll just have to put my foot down with the MIL. She started already the night she came to the hospital. Fletcher was under the lights and I couldn’t hold him to calm him down, so I gave him a dum-dum. Which he can now take or leave, but it works for my purposes. She stated “You ain’t gonna use that thang all the time, are ya?” I (as politely as I could, which for me is saying something) explained that sucking soothes, and since I can’t soothe him, he gets a dum-dum. *reining temper in harshly, since I’m hormonal and bone tired* I was too tired to throw anything at her, like I said before. If she starts on Christmas, I swear I’ll ruin her holiday.

in her old clothes today!!! Ok, well, not completely, they’re my fat jeans, but they button, dammit! And I can sit in them! Not comfortable, but not completely uncomfortable, either. Fletcher only woke up every 3.5 hours on the button last night, and I’m feeling like I need to give the grizzly bears a salad fork. (Check out my sister’s blog , on the right, the one about “Fur”-niture for clarification on this reference.) Sleep is good for you. I’m discovering just how good for you as we speak. Well, need to let the dogs in and fold laundry. What a downer to such a glorious morning, eh?

I’ve figured a couple of things out. Maybe. Like that he likes to be bundled up and warm. He likes his dum-dum, but if he spits it out more than twice in rapid succession, he wants the real thing. He likes to be held to go to sleep (don’t know how to worm my way out of that one yet). He nurses one side, burps, rests a minute, then nurses the other side. I pumped 2 bottles full this morning. Yeah! I know! And still had enough to satisfy his little Highness! Huh. Who knew? I need to drink a lot. My skin is getting dry. Partly hormones, partly him sucking the moisture out, literally. Oil of Olay, anyone? Anyway, his left eye is getting sort of gummy and crusty with this yellow stuff. Now, the sclera is still white, so I know it’s not conjuntivitis (pinkeye), but I’m wondering if maybe it’s a clogged duct or something? I’ve got a pedi appt on Wed, but I’m debating whether to call in the morning and ask about it. My husband thought maybe just drainage from lying on that side, so I turned him over, and nope, still there. Hmmm…will have to think on this.

is so tired right now. I feel like the kid in the Pinball Wizard song that plays by sense of smell, ya know?. The rest of my senses are not functioning at full capacity. I got probably an hour’s worth of sleep last night. My husband thinks The Chunker has his days and nights mixed up, so suggested to me to bathe him today, bother him, and otherwise keep him occupied till tonight. Then try different things getting him to sleep. Put him in the swing, try him in his crib, try letting him sleep in his carseat (Which is where he slept this morning for 3 hours.) I said ok, I’d try. I just bathed him (warm water only, cord’s still attached) and changed him, and now I think I’ll have some lunch. Or maybe take a nap. Yeaaaaah. Nap sounds good. Wonder what time Sis will be here? *Pinball Wizard, there has to be a twist…*

are both fast asleep. I’ve been by myself with the baby all day, cause my husband’s been asleep. (He works nights, so it’s necessary to sleep during the day. I wasn’t being sarcastic, for once.) I’m beginning to understand why new moms need help. It’s not that they necessarily do anything, these people just keep you sane when you’ve done everything you can think of and he’s still crying. I’m calling my sister to come tomorrow. Of course, I felt extreeeeeeeeemly dumb when I was at my wit’s end and getting frustrated and realized he was just wet. No wonder I didn’t see any poo. Wet and cold counts too, ya know. *sigh* There’ve been some moments when I really think I have an aptitude for this, and some moments, well, not so much.

Hello, world! Party can start, I’m here!! Although, I gotta tell ya, I have NOT received a very warm welcome. My booty keeps getting wiped, which is cold, they stick stuff in my booty, I had to wear shades under these bright lights, they kept pricking my heel when a little guy was trying to get some sleep, oh yeah, the first thing they did was pull me out with a great big head sucker, which made me hurt, and THEN they hurt my pee-pee. I don’t know what they did down there, but OUCH!! (Don’t worry, I got ‘em all back. I can hit a moving target at 20 paces, hurt or no hurt!) Things seemed to have calmed down a little bit, though. See, it’s pretty cool that all I gotta do is suck on my hands and make some noise, and guess what!!! You never will, soooo I’ll tell you. I get milk! Glorious milk! I likey me some milk. I’ll take all you can ever or will ever give me. I’ll warn you though, I might try to give some back. Mommy doesn’t seem to like it when I do it, but usually I get more milk, so no harm done, the way I see it. So, who is this Mommy person? She seems to be around an awful lot. She’s the one who shows up a few minutes before the milk does. I wonder if she’s some kind of milk jug? Daddy’s here too, but I think he’s here just to kiss me and give me back my dum-dum, carry me around, and do that booty wiping thing once in awhile. I’m trying to sleep as much as I can, so I can grow big and strong like Daddy. Mommy says she appreciates this very much as she’s trying to recover, but I don’t know what she thinks she’s recovering from, compared to the week I’ve had! Well, it’s time to summon Mommy again, but don’t worry, she leaves her laptop laying around a lot. I’m sure I’ll talk to you again! Bye! (Apparently there’s something I’m supposed to learn to do when I say bye-bye, but I haven’t figured it out yet. Don’t worry, I will!)

And so we’re bickering. I feel bad cause I know how hard he’s worked and that he’s gotten almost no rest. Yesterday was the only day he got any rest. I may sleep in the living room with the baby tonight so he can sleep. I’m not supposed to be driving or picking up anything heavier than the baby, but I can help him out here more. So I will. Right after I get some sleep.

My husband brought me breakfast in bed yesterday morning.
I’ve lost 19lbs in 6 days.
My baby is the most beautiful baby ever.
He is also a Boobie Pig. Quite skillful for only being 6 days old. (And yes, he snorts. It’s hysterical.)
My entire family dotes on him!
I didn’t kill my MIL. (Although, the jury’s still out. May have to reserve punishment for later.)
That is all.