Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{February 15, 2009}   Spit, Spot, Part Deux

So now I’m spotting.   Again.  This will probably be a short post because YCU is currently rooting at my side demanding attention, like a small puppy.  Anyway.  I have been reading up on the causes of breakthrough bleeding, and such.  None of it’s really good for fertility.  I just wish I had answers.  I wish I knew if there was any point to the Clomid or not.  I wish I would start my period already!!!  I really hate waiting.  Either I’m stressed, or I have Endometriosis or fibroids.  Or PCOS, like I was afraid of.  I thought the hallmark of endo or PCOS was painful periods.  I don’t really even notice mine until I go to the potty.  I don’t have cramps or flooding.  I have some mood swings.  But I think I have those anyway.  I don’t understand why things can never just be straightforward for me.  Why do I always have to fight to get what I want?  Why does it have to be so hard?

In other news, I think I’m having mood swings now.  I just chewed my husband a new one because the dogs did something stupid.  We need a new collar for the dog, my husband insists that I just don’t know how to put the collar on, and I have a nuclear meltdown because he’s talking to me like I’m stupid.  How hard should it be to put on a fucking collar?  It’s not.  I put it on the damn dog.  If he can get it off because he chewed on it and now the clasp doesn’t work, and he continues to insist that it does, I’m no longer going to worry about the dogs.  They are his responsibility.  All this stress and stupid shit is making me very irritable.  I’m gonna have to start exercising again.  I hate exercise.  I  hate sweat.  I like to play hard.  I do not like to exercise and sweat.

et cetera