Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{February 27, 2009}   Apparently, people like my drivel.

I’m glad someone does!  If not, it would have been a real blow to my ego.  Several have left comments about my “uniqueness” or that I’m “interesting.”  I think these are polite ways of saying that I’m “not right.”  I get in trouble a lot for calling a spade a spade.  I just call it like I see it.  Ok, like in the case of a 17 year old patient I had once.  She was young and ignorant, and I mean in a bad way.  Each and every time she had the slightest twinge, she’d wake up everybody in her family and drag them to the hospital cause “This could be It!!”  This happened 8 times.  Seriously.  Not making this up, I promise.  Every time she came in, through luck of the draw, she got me for her nurse.  Well, getting close to her due date, she asked me during one of these many visits when I thought they’d be scheduling surgery.  I had no idea what she was talking about, since based on her records, she’d be having a natural delivery unless something dire occured.  She went on, and it dawned on me that she didn’t know how babies got delivered.  I took a deep breath and had to explain to her what her mother (most unwisely, considering the circumstances at hand) had left out of  “The Discussion.”  “Honey” I said, “The neck on the sweater there gets real stretched out.”  Crude, I know, but how else do you explain to a 17 year old kid how she’s gonna deliver a baby if she doesn’t even know how she got in that condition in the first place?  I ask you.  Yeah, I heard about it later from the supervisor.  I decided at that point that it was best if my patients were asleep.  I cannot be relied upon to behave myself for long enough to deal with patients that are mentally and physically mobile.  Most everybody I know tells me I’m funny, or that I’m a mess.  Again, southern for “incorrigible.”  I know I’m rotten.  I’ve pretty much had this problem ever since my vocal cords developed, so I’m used to it.  Those who have never had the pleasure of formally interacting with me are generally a bit put off at first, then I grow on ’em.  Sorta like a fungus.  I just have a sick sense of humor combined with a wicked fast tongue, which makes shooting off at the lip an artform in my case.  He, he.  My parents have just learned to shake their heads.


Valerie says:

And your brother and sister have learned to roll their eyes and laugh.

Nina says:

Well, honestly, what else could you do? It was either that, or hide under the table with the gum and cockroaches. I’m simply a force that cannot be contained. SuperMouth!

geohde says:

I would hae probably deferred to the good old stork explanation. Yes, that’s whimping out.


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