Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{March 19, 2009}   No I don’t .

I don’t have to keep trying, I don’t have to be patient, I don’t have to be positive, and I most emphatically do NOT have to relax!  I also do not have to go around people who are either newly pregnant and happy, newly pregnant and scared, newly pregnant and not in any type of place in their lives for a baby, and oldly pregnant and excited.  I’m not doing it.  They will either be gushy and happy and think I’m a total bitch for glaring at them all night, or be patronizing and say something like “Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon!  Just relax and have fun!”  Fuck relaxation.  I could relax into a coma and still not get pregnant.  It’s just not gonna happen for me.

Oh, yeah, and I was right.  Mr. Monthly Visitor showed up this am.  And my husband was highly insensitive (notice I did NOT say stupid, dumb, or anything else demeaning) and had the balls to suggest we go and hang out tonight with one of his friends who has no education (in the process), no money, no car, no home, no marriage license, and managed to get his girlfriend pregnant.  I really don’t want to see him.  I don’t want to hear about him being scared, happy, excited, broke, etc.  And then YCU had the balls to tell his friends I “bitched out” and didn’t want to go.  And THEN he got all mad about it.  I can’t believe he’s really this clueless.  My uterus is still a bastard.  I had a horrible day at work.  Today sucked.

et cetera