Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{September 9, 2009}   Did you want your mother?

I’m being totally serious here when I ask that. We got into a discussion today about various people’s deliveries. I worked in L&D, and always wondered why people needed/wanted and audience for the big event/major exposure of the girly parts. I think I won’t want my mother or anyone else there, except my husband. I mean, I’m grown, married, own my own home, pay my own bills, and do my best to solve my own problems. Do I really need my mother present to do this? She wasn’t there during the baby construction, if you know what I mean. Maybe when it comes time, I’ll accidentally leave my big-girl panties at the house, but I just don’t think so. One girl advised me not to allow my MIL in the room. Hah. Like that was gonna happen anyway, but seriously, if I had my druthers? She wouldn’t be allowed in the same city, much less my delivery room. That’s the last place I’d want to see her. I’ll literally and figuratively be showing my ass enough without her help, thank you very much. I talked to my husband about it tonight, and surprisingly, he agreed. He said that he’d be stressed out, I’ll be tired, and he didn’t want to have to act excited or happy or polite until we’d spent some time with the baby on our own and gotten a bit of rest (I know, as much as possible given the circumstances). I almost started crying. This is why I love this man. When it comes down to brass tacks, he’s all about US, and not about EVERYONE ELSE. His idea is not to call anyone till after the big event. I’m loving it.

becomingwhole says:

I think it probably depends on your relationship with your mother, but I am of the opinion that MILs should not be allowed anywhere near the L&D room. Not that it’s a really relevant question for me, anyway, but hey, I’m allowed an opinion, right?

I only wanted my mommy because I knew my ex-husband was going to be a useless bastard who would try to make it all about himself. I was right. My mom (after getting lost) rushed into the hospital only to have my ex tell her he hurt his knee that day. I was bent over double in the lobby having a contraction because the nurses told me to walk to dilate. She told him to man up about a boo-boo and if he ever passed a baby out of that knee then he could call her and complain.

Nina says:

I’m totally liking your mom.

Oh ex also insisted his mom be allowed in for the births. She sat by my head praying louder than the nurses were counting during my pushing.


1. I’m atheist.
2. I was a little busy and she was distracting everyone.
3. I told her to hush. “Julie, hush.” To this day she tells everyone I screamed at her.

NEVER EVER EVER let a MIL in the room. EVER.

Nina says:

I’m kinda thinkin’ that the ex shouldn’t have been allowed in. Your room, your rules, ya know? Just my thoughts on the matter. If he couldn’t act any better than that, tell him “You’ll see him every other weekend. That’s plenty.” But I’m a bitch. We’ve already established that.

When the time comes, I want the birth to just be us.
Him & I.
Plus, I’m sure MIL would criticize something about my delivery/hoo-ha and then I’d have to yell.

rosesdaughter says:

Well, my husband does not do blood. AT ALL. Not even his own!
Soooo, my mother will be there just in case he turns out to be no help( ie passed out on the floor). But then, I am very very very close to my mom. C-Dub will be at the head of the bed, sitting in a chair. My Mom is there for the real support!
As for my MIL, she’s nice and all, but I just dont think she needs to see my coochie……..

Nina says:

See, to me, that’s totally different. If you have a husband/partner that is no help, you need some kind of support system, and the natural choice for most girls would be their mother, I’m guessing. If something happened and my husband were unavailable, then, yes, my mother could pinch hit. I heard stories yesterday about MILs that pouted like children and threw fits all because ‘HER mother was allowed, but she wasn’t’. I told that girl she was nicer than me, cause I’d have told her she wasn’t my mother. When her son births a child, she can watch.

g says:

There is no way I would have had more than my spouse at the twrrible twosome’s birth. It’s not precisely a pretty moment and I kind of think it’s private.

When I did my stint catching babies, I was always amazed at the families that practically chewed popcorn.


cantabile says:

Calling after is fine, I think, but MIL should be in the dark as to who was called first. When I was born my paternal grandmother refused to see me because she was not Numero Uno on the phone tree.

Nina says:

That is the most childish, selfish, dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Wow. I didn’t know grown people acted like that. Be glad you were called at all! That’s what I plan on telling my MIL. I will NOT have her showing her ass at the hospital. OR anywhere else, for that matter.

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