Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{October 6, 2009}   Anxiety

I has it in spades. *deepbreathdeepbreath* I’m worried. I won’t be able to keep the pace up after the baby’s born. And unless my husband finds another job (or I do), we’re gonna have to start really cutting back. As in sit in the dark, freeze our tushies off, only talk on the phones after 9pm except for business calls, *cut off the cable tv/internet*, none of which are really sacrifices. But losing my house, having the new furniture repossessed, losing my car, those things have me scared. And unless I can keep up the pace, all of those things may just happen. I hate being poor. I hate feeling pinched like this. We were doing so well before, and I thought we were on our way to, well, not the easy life, but stability, anyways. As long as I can nurse, can feed the baby, so input is covered, but output may be a problem. Diapers are expensive. When I started on this venture, we were reasonably stable. Now, I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’m probably whining, and probably lots of people started having kids a lot worse off than we are (we’re not teenagers with no jobs, after all), but I don’t like change. I know, I know, I did this to myself, and what exactly did I think having a kid was gonna do to my lifestyle? Unless I’d planned on hiring a nanny, one helluva lot. *sigh* Anxiety. I has it.

et cetera