Fletcher steals Mommy’s Laptop

Hello, world! Party can start, I’m here!! Although, I gotta tell ya, I have NOT received a very warm welcome. My booty keeps getting wiped, which is cold, they stick stuff in my booty, I had to wear shades under these bright lights, they kept pricking my heel when a little guy was trying to get some sleep, oh yeah, the first thing they did was pull me out with a great big head sucker, which made me hurt, and THEN they hurt my pee-pee. I don’t know what they did down there, but OUCH!! (Don’t worry, I got ’em all back. I can hit a moving target at 20 paces, hurt or no hurt!) Things seemed to have calmed down a little bit, though. See, it’s pretty cool that all I gotta do is suck on my hands and make some noise, and guess what!!! You never will, soooo I’ll tell you. I get milk! Glorious milk! I likey me some milk. I’ll take all you can ever or will ever give me. I’ll warn you though, I might try to give some back. Mommy doesn’t seem to like it when I do it, but usually I get more milk, so no harm done, the way I see it. So, who is this Mommy person? She seems to be around an awful lot. She’s the one who shows up a few minutes before the milk does. I wonder if she’s some kind of milk jug? Daddy’s here too, but I think he’s here just to kiss me and give me back my dum-dum, carry me around, and do that booty wiping thing once in awhile. I’m trying to sleep as much as I can, so I can grow big and strong like Daddy. Mommy says she appreciates this very much as she’s trying to recover, but I don’t know what she thinks she’s recovering from, compared to the week I’ve had! Well, it’s time to summon Mommy again, but don’t worry, she leaves her laptop laying around a lot. I’m sure I’ll talk to you again! Bye! (Apparently there’s something I’m supposed to learn to do when I say bye-bye, but I haven’t figured it out yet. Don’t worry, I will!)