Ninapintasantamaria's Blog

{December 27, 2010}   Have you ever…

Just sat and thought about how your life would have been different if…? Yeah. I do that a lot. It’s not that I’m unhappy, exactly, but more that I’ve got so much more potential. I feel like I get disrespected at work, which bleeds over into my home life. I get irritated by the minutiae of the day and the fact that I work around a bunch of rude-ass people who can’t even answer you when you ask a question, or act like they just didn’t hear you and either talk over you, or do precisely what you asked them not to. I realize I have control issues, but I’m really tired of fighting for it. Here and at work. I feel like no one gives a shit what I think should be done, but then when I just take care of things myself(doing my best not to inconvenience everyone else), I’m called pushy, overbearing, bitchy, inappropriate, etc. Then, when I explain why I do what I do, (which I’ve spent my whole life coming up with justifications for everything I do and everything I want mostly because I despise people bitching at me and I always felt like if my parents had explained why more often, I wouldn’t have been nearly as sneaky, conniving, bitter, put upon, etc.), either they don’t want to hear it, or it’s ignored and they just keep right on bitching. Hmmm….most of this is reminiscent of home. I’m sorry, one of my pet peeves is people who act like you never even spoke when you ask a question. Dammit, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t need the answer! If it’s not a good time, say that. Politely. Then get back to me. (‘Hang on’, ‘just a minute’, etc are all perfectly appropriate.) I’m sorry that ‘men use up their quota of words during the day’ or whatever crap that is. I don’t have time for that. I’m not just talking for my health. I’m not asking questions I already know the answers to, or I wouldn’t have asked, jackass. Answer me, or tell me where the information is, and I don’t need you telling me how much better someone else is at [fill in the blank] whatever I’m asking about, or how I can just look and know, or how it’s common sense. It’s not, or I wouldn’t be asking, fucker! Suffice it to say, I’m feeling a bit put upon, today. I’m tired of justifying myself. Time for the world to justify to me, a bit.

I read this book a long time ago, called Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of the big topics in it was how to “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” I want to do this, but I feel like I’m being roadblocked everywhere. Maybe I should have read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” instead.

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